Tall Tales
from Captain Blake’s Menagerie of Marvels
Hurry Hurry Hurry! Step right up, ladies n’
gents! Boys and girls! Don’t be afraid to
satisfy your innermost curiosities… Welcome to
the World’s Best Traveling Roadshow…Captain
Blake’s Menagerie of Marvels!
A collection of sights so wonderful, so
remarkable, so extraordinary… You’ll have to see
it to believe it!
Inside, you’ll witness the greatest wonders of
this age! Live! Positively Real Anomalies of
Nature!
Meet Altheus, the Gentle Giant. 8 feet 4 inches
tall, stronger than an angry ox but gentler than
a sleeping fawn!
We’ll introduce you to Beatrice, The Fat Lady of
Leisure. She who enjoys afternoon tea and good
conversation, has impeccable taste yet weighs
over 600 pounds and has been sporting a
shockingly manly beard since she was a young
woman of only 15 years!
Consider The Toledo Trio… 3 beautiful sisters
imported from Spain, conjoined at the hips!
Forever united, never a moment alone, the
triplets will confound you with their combined
talents of song and dance! Hear them live, see them
up close!
Witness the Armless Enigma, Jo Johnson… Born
without arms, we discovered him in the smoky
backroom of a small-town tavern, playing a mean
game of poker with his feet! Watch him drink
wine, type a manuscript, and play the trumpet
with his incredibly nimble toes!
But wait, there’s still more!
Discover the Wild Pygmy People captured from the
Rainforest of Central Africa
Visit His Royal Highness, the Littlest Siberian
Prince – 18 inches high, 15 pounds light…a
man-child of blue blood descent!
Behold the Countess Louisa, the Last Living
Vampire. With skin so pale like fine porcelain…
Just be sure not to step too close to this
bloodthirsty native of Transylvania!
Observe the Sensational Spectacle of Chan, the
human contortionist who escaped from the
Emperor’s torture chamber in China. See him
twist and turn his body into unfathomable
proportions!
Don’t miss the Amazing Sword Swallowing Samson!
Death defying feats of tremendous daring OR
shocking acts of insanity?
Without a doubt, you shall witness the most
Extraordinary Wonders of the Ages…at Captain
Blake’s Menagerie of Marvels! Only in town for a
week! Catch us while you can!!
With that last announcement, the sound of a
canon rang through the air and the feisty crowd
began to cheer as the entrance to the show tent opened slowly like the eye of Cyclops.
It was another day at Captain Blake’s Menagerie
of Marvels and the Barker was always on first,
though last to leave. More affectionately known as “the
President” on account of his old black
stovepipe top hat and ragged tuxedo jacket, he
was the longest-standing resident of this
traveling roadshow.
Now one of the tricks of surviving life on the
road, is to have some dependable ritual and
routine in your day. For the President, it was 3
swigs from his beloved flask after each spiel on
the platform. It was his job during the opening
to round up, rile up and roll in the crowds… or
the Townies, as the carny folk liked to call
them.
Another ritual was to catch up on the day’s news
with Casey the Carny, a short wiry fellow who
was always covered in Midway dust. You could say
Casey even had sawdust in his blood, born to be
a carny he was. He was the second longest
resident of this joint, and it was his business
to know what was going down. As the result of
such a responsibility, Casey was always running
and today was no exception.
“Sir President! We’ve got frrresh blood! Madame
would like your presence at the Parlour…”
The Parlour was the official wagon of the Madame
and she was the actual mastermind behind this
entire production. “Captain Blake” of Captain
Blake’s Menagerie of Marvels was pure
fabrication. A woman could not
openly run such an operation, so Madame had
simply circumvented the limitations of the
genre.
But Madame was more than a show woman. She was
also a humanitarian at heart. Her traveling
roadshow was not just a profitable business, but
a wandering orphanage of sorts as she happily
collected wayward souls, lost children and
society’s unmentionables. She gave them a place
to call home, and a unique opportunity to do
something with their lives.
“Fresh blood” meant a new face. It had been a
while since anyone had been brought into the
fold, so the President and Casey the Carny made
their way to the Parlour with eager steps.
New acts came by in one of 3 ways: Oftentimes,
the parents or guardian of the unfortunate child
would bring them in, hoping that their peculiar
talents would soon earn the family a pretty
penny. Sometimes, it was the Sideshow scout who
would convince a potential act to join the show.
Other times, it was the talent themselves who
would come a callin’. Anyone who joined would
need to acclimatize quickly to life on the
Midway. But the abandoned ones always had the
toughest time. We all like to be the choosers of
our own destiny, so if Fate seems to be dealing
us the hand, we tend to resist or resent.
Carnival life was suited to two types of
individuals: the Extremely Romantic or the
Extremely Practical. Seemingly polar opposites
residing in the same Maya, employing different
illusions. How you lived your life on the lot,
was really up to you and how you wanted to see
it. Sometimes the best way to acclimatize, would
be to choose your Romance carefully. Picking a
good story to live by could make or break your
time on the Midway.
Take the little Prince of Siberia, now his story
leaned heavily on Romance. He walked regally,
talked with finesse and acted with great dignity.
That was his story and he was stickin to it.
Then you had Sword Swallowin Samson, who was
more on the Practical edge of life. He was here
to save a fine little fortune so that he could
retire from the show circuit in the next few
years. Buy a little house in maybe Mexico and
take care of his aging ma. That was his Romance.
As they finally arrived at Madame’s Parlour, the
two men found the door already open. Madame was
seated on the day bed, wearing a man’s long
black smoking jacket, with her silver hair
pinned atop her head. She was smoking an
elegantly long thin pipe while she carefully
appraised a young woman of about 16 years of
age. The girl had a soft doe-eyed face, with a
mass of auburn hair that trailed down her back,
and wore a humble brown frock. She stood
awkwardly and solemnly, so the President
concluded that she’d been abandoned here. Madame addressed them.
“Meet Persephone. She has arrived care of her
father, who believes that she would be better
off in our hands. She is recently widowed, her
husband having drowned in a sea storm. In
addition, she is able to walk only with much
effort and does not engage in speech very
readily. Apparently, she has chosen sadness as
her new bedfellow so we shall see what we can do
with such a tragic lass.
Would you please escort her to the Triplets’ wagon please? She will stay there
until further notice.”
The President and Casey each offered an arm to
the young girl and they began their slow trek to
the Triplets’ abode. Persephone was indeed a
quiet creature. She did not utter a word the
whole way but they could feel what a struggle it
was for her to take each tiny step. Despite
this, he felt a certain grace in her being and
looked forward to mentoring her in the ways of
the Carnival life. He didn’t know what Madame
had in mind for her, perhaps she would end up
behind the scenes, sewing garments for the
performers. She certainly seemed too shy to be
on the stage. And what would be her talent or
draw? He just didn’t see it yet, but perhaps it
was all there. Madame had the gift for spotting
“it”, that special quality that would make
somebody a star. Of course, most sideshow
performers are pretty self-evident. When you’re
8 feet 4 inches like Altheus the Giant, subtlety
is lacking.
But once in a while, there was a double
attraction star. One who had an unexpected gift,
above and beyond their physical affectation.
Those ones often had a long career in the
sideshow circuit. And the President enjoyed
watching their evolution. He often gambled with
Casey on the odds of their success. But he only
placed the bet when he thought they were going
to win. Madame wasn’t the only one who was
humanitarian.
Now, the Toledo Triplets shared a little wagon
on the East side of the lot. Even though the
entire operation jumped from town to town, they
always kept the layout the same. Ritual and
routine like I said before, are important for
sanity when you’re on the road.
Only Madame and the President had their own
private wagons - the rest were in shared
quarters. So you can imagine how dismayed the
three
sisters were, when they were presented with an
extra body. The moment Persephone was
introduced, the mood went foul. Once one sister
felt a strong emotion, it spread like syphilis
to the other two. It felt cruel to leave the new
girl in their hands, but the President had to be
back on the platform for his next spiel. Well,
he figured, this baptism by fire might be just
what the girl needed to test her mettle.
Alegria, Benita and Clementina were not actually
from Toledo Spain, nor were they even conjoined.
But they had a killer song and dance routine, so
Madame had decided to package them as conjoined
triplets in a brilliant act of showmanship. The
three sisters who were actually true triplets,
had to learn how to walk and run side by side,
bend and dance hip to hip. Yes, for every moment
in the public’s eye, they had to be inseparable.
One would expect that such close quarters would
invite great tension, but it actually forced the
previously quarrelsome sisters to form an unholy
alliance. A pact that created peace amongst
them, but war with others. And this new blood on
their turf, was a call to battle.
Fortunately, you cannot fight with someone who
won’t fight with you. Persephone just didn’t
have anything you could hook onto. It seemed
that her own resident pain shielded her from
further insult. So within a short time, the
young widow who had been delegated to sleep on
the floor was left alone. The war was
called off.
Persephone may have kept to herself, but she
wasn’t kept idle. Madame stationed her at the
cook shack, helping to peel potatoes for the two
meals that were provided for the residents. Over
the next few weeks, the performers started to
lose interest in this mute wallflower as she
melted into the backdrop of the midway mayhem.
Then one night, after they’d finished setting up
in a new town, a sudden storm descended on the
Midway. The wind from the shore of this seaside
village blew in with sudden force. A sheet of
rain poured thickly onto the grounds, and all
the residents scampered to their wagons. It was
an epic evening as the
creaky caravans rocked and groaned under the
wrath of the pounding wet sky.
Finally, the storm tired of
itself and subsided to a drizzle. As everyone
settled quietly for the night, a strange sound
lulled them out of their sleep. It was a
haunting, other-worldly voice. They could not
hear any words, but could feel every fiber of
their being respond to this song of deep sadness
and longing. It was as if someone had dived into
humanity’s collective pool of pain and was now
swimming into the darkest memories of love and
loss. They listened with their hearts as
they drifted into sleep and regretfully said
goodnight to the mournful siren's song.
The next morning, the residents woke to some
grand commotion. Jo Johnson the Armless Enigma,
had discovered Persephone, laying naked in the
mud. She had been out in the storm, exposed all
night and was now only half-conscious. For a
moment, everyone was awe-struck as they gazed
upon this terrible sight. For the first time,
her legs were visible. They could all see that
her limbs were completely fused together from
knees to ankles, and that her feet were
malformed into strange finlike structures. She
looked like a poor little mermaid that had
washed ashore… Breaking the silence, the
President threw his tuxedo over the girl and
ordered Altheus the Giant to bring her to
Madame’s Parlour.
For the next 7 days, Persephone stayed with
Madame while she dipped in and out of
consciousness. In feverish states, she called
out the name of her lost lover who had drowned.
At other times in her delirium, she cursed the
storm and then sang old sea shanties that
brought Madame to tears. Finally, after another
week of steady care, Persephone awakened from
her illness. The triplets had been visiting
every day, along with the President and Casey
the Carny. With the news of her recovery, the
rest of the residents began to come calling. No
one had been left untouched by her song, by her
sight…and at the end of each day’s festivities,
the mood had been decidedly somber.
Now that Persephone had regained her health,
Madame, being both a humanitarian and an
opportunist, pulled out an old scroll.
Unraveling it before the young woman, she
pointed out the image of the Siren. Half-woman,
half-fish… a creature that was the embodiment of
beauty and mystery. She then explained that by
playing the role of the Mythical Mermaid,
Persephone could pay homage to her lost husband
at sea. Every night, it would be a fitting
tribute and her siren’s song would be the anthem
of noble mourning. For the first time,
Persephone looked up and smiled.
So it was, that Madame brought to life, the
Singing Mermaid of Ceylon. Though most
respectable sideshows on the circuit had a
mermaid on display, it was usually a fossilized
artifact featuring the skeleton of a monkey
grafted onto a fish’s tail. No one had a living
mermaid, so on Persephone’s printed pitchcards,
it was written that she was captured off the
Coast of Ceylon by Captain Blake on one of his
recent voyages. For her act, Madame had a small
lagoon constructed and a specialty tail made to
accentuate her fin-like feet. Her torso was
covered by her long auburn locks and pieces of
seaweed were draped around her hips. The
resident banner artist painted the image of the
Siren from the scroll onto a large canvas sheet,
and mounted it above her stage.
Ladies n gents, boys and girls, you’re in for a
real treat! In this congress of prodigious
sights… we have a very special catch that’s sure
to make a splash! A mythical creature of lore
come to shore! Yes, it’s a quite a tail we’ve
got for you here…Step right up and witness the
extraordinary wonder of the Singing Mermaid of
Ceylon – half maiden, half fish!
Every night, the Mermaid captured the hearts of
the patrons with the breathtaking view of her
glistening tail, the tantalizing glimpse of skin
beneath her long flowing hair, followed by a
soul-wrenching song that rang through their
bodies in a sweep of longing and despair.
The President witnessed her every show, and did
his best to help her sell pitchcards. While
other performers sold their own cards, he
offered his services to Persephone because she
was oblivious. He saw that she was one of the
Extremely Romantic, not practical at all. For
her, she’d come to romance the twin sisters of
Tragedy and Loss. This cunning pair had become
her intimate companions and were forever
whispering seductively in her ear. Each night
was a heartfelt attempt to mourn and pay homage
to her only love. Perhaps he’d been the first
one who saw her beauty and loved her essence,
unaffected either way by her affliction. Ah, hers was an honest
plight and the President actually felt
uncomfortable about the whole thing. In a way,
he’d almost preferred not knowing her secrets.
In fact, he preferred Fraudulent Display over
Earnestness. It was too precious and too fragile
a thing to be so exposed each night.
Everyone else on the sideshow circuit had a
measure of fraud to protect themselves with. The
Countess was not a countess. Like many sideshow
performers, she’d simply taken on a royal title.
Nor was she a walking creature of the dead, she
was just a small-town gal from Ohio, born
Albino. Chan the contortionist, did not escape
from China, but was a Japanese
man born and raised in California. And it was a
rare condition called Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome
that give him the incredible hypermobility of
the joints.
However, despite these elaborate fabrications,
every sideshow performer in Captain Blake’s
Menagerie of Marvels was authentic in some way.
There was no question as to the stature of
Altheus the Giant or the girth of Beatrice the
Fat Lady. But no matter how tall, how short or
how wide, there was always room for
embellishment and exaggeration. Nothing is ever
what it seems here at the Menagerie. Something
strange can be made fantastic. Something unusual
can be made truly bizarre. And sometimes,
something disturbing can be made beautiful.
So perhaps life on the Midway was more kind to
the Mermaid than life back home. Here, she
had a found a Romance... Here, she was a
star.
It must be said that regardless of all the
sideshow
tricks and deceits, the audience was never quite
as dumb as the barker’s pitch would suggest. The
patrons often knew that a great deal of fraud
was involved, but this seemed to cause a unique
kind of delight. And so the game was willingly
played by all, and Captain Blake’s Menagerie of
Marvels would continue to travel on the open
road, offering entertainment for the Townies and
employment for the carnies. So long as the
Extremely Romantic and the Extremely Practical
continued to exist, the President figured he’s
always have work to do.
Hurry Hurry Hurry! Step right up, ladies n’
gents! Boys and girls! Don’t be afraid to
satisfy your innermost curiosities… Welcome to
the World’s Best Traveling Roadshow…where you
shall witness the most extraordinary Wonders of
the Ages… Captain Blake’s Menagerie of Marvels!
Only in town for a week! Catch us while you
can!!
